Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Can I Have that Back!

Have you ever wanted to undo something so badly because you know that it is just going to be misinterpreted and misunderstood, because of the time in which it was recieved. Not knowing what the outcome may be is scary, but oh well, move on. It probably needs to be out in the open anyway, and now it is, however innocent and unrelated the message was to something else going on at the time, but taken in the context of that time frame makes complete sense and explains a lot, but it wasn't meant to happen at that time becasue one didn't realize what was going on when the message was given. Now it shed a whole new light on what is really going on internally, and that, my friends, is so scary, things will definintly change and there is no stopping it becasue it needs to happen, and loud as the wish of containment screams "Get that back. Make it as though it never happened!" you can't. What is done is done.

Friday, July 15, 2005

I love...

1. Seeing the sunrise (odd since I am not a mornign person)
2. Being on time for work so I leave on time and not have to feel like I am detention and everyone else is going to go have fun.(it is a rare occurance)
3. Pink, but pretty much everone knows that by now.
4. My new canopy
5. That my adorable niece named her new kitten "Puppy"(she not even 2 so it is ok)
6. Hot weather
7. The smell of hot tar on a road in the summer
8. Flip-flops
9. The Gospel
10. My family
11. Shoes
12. My chipmunk laugh that only comes out when I am silly tired.
13. That in one week I will be driving to Montana, probably in about Idaho Falls at this time.
14. Painting houses
15. laying in the sunshine
16. Rivers(floating down them in tubes)
17. The Temple
18. My good friends
19. Flowers(really what girl doesn't)
20. Getting lost in a book.
21. Sunsets
22. Thunder storms
23. Mountains covered with pine trees
24. The Bears
25. Football, in general
26. Cherry Popsicles

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Take A Chance On Me. On Second Thought...

So last night the immortal words of ABBA struck me, not in the usual context one thinks of when hearing this song, ok well at first that is where my thoughts lay, but then a rather different twist on this phrase crossed my mind, and I began to think. As I lay in bed, knowing there was no way i could even get 5 hours of sleep, I realized this life is full of chances. It is a chance for us to learn and to grow, and a chance to be happy.

So while these thoughts were filtering through my head, I decided that if I truley want to be happy, some chances are not going to be relived. When these have come and stabbed you in the back, and time and again continued to push the knife in jsut a little bit deeper, you have to say enough is enough. Things happen and chances can't be taken back once given, but they also don't have to be continuously given when the result has always been the same. Forgive, and move on is my ne motto, but I add to that, I will deffinently be more careful about those I allow to take a chance on me.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

My Favorite Jeans

So lately I have been trying to remove a lot of junk and other useless and/or needless items from my possession. It is a tedious and long process, because as you may know I have a lot of stuff, and trying to decide what I want to keep, what I need to keep, and what I really should let go, if only for my own sanity, it is also dang hard to let go of the things that seem so great at the time. Things like that favorite pair of jeans that I will always want to keep, or that great sweatshirt, that makes me so comfortable and I just can't bear to part with it, even though I have lots of newer sweatshirts and jeans that may be in better shape or look better, but I just don't want to give them up yet. I hate shopping for jeans. I know that if I would be willing to let them go it could make more space, and maybe I could find someting similar, just as comfortable, or maybe even more comfortable, but it is scary to give up what I know is comfortable cause what if I can't find something that fits the same. I have often found a pair that I thought would be comfortable, and they turn out to be too tight, or too short, or too long, or too loose. Sure it isn't like I wear the same jeans and sweatshirt all the time, but when ever they calls to me I am willing to put them back on and I remember just why I am so comfortable in them. They know where they need to give a little more room and when I need them to just stay how they are. I continue to try and mend them and make them as good as new, but it seems like when ever I get back to them, they need more repairs to their tattered seams. They should probably just be set free, but I come back to that old problem of liking them no matter how beat up and torn they are.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Dirty Laundry

Can I just say that I have come to the realization that I hate laundry day. I never hated it before, but today i relized that i will not be able to make it another 3 weeks before doing laundry, when i will be at home in montana and it will be free, cause I only have a bout 3 days worth of undies. Not good. I am going to have to walk myself across the parking lot and pay to wash my clothing for the first time in about 3 years. This is no fun. I almost long for the days when i was in Rexburg and home was just a quick four hour drive, so i could go home every couple weeks and do laundry for free if I felt so inclined. But alas it is now 7 hours and that is just not worth it. So I will have to cart my laundry basket downstairs and to the laundromat soon and endure the boring hours tht will be consumed by this tedious, yet needed, time waste. At least they have free drying... maybe i will do it tomorrow and try to give my self skin cancer between cycles. That sounds lovely.