Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Hold please...

So I have been put on hold. There are some great opportunities that soon will be available in my life, but for the moment they have been put on hold for and unspecified amount of time. All I know is they will come to fruition soon. I am hoping one thing I am holding for isn't soon in the Lord's time cause that could be ten years for all I know, and I really don't want to be sewing underwear for the next 10 years. This is frustrating. I know that things will all work out how they are supposed to, but honestly haven't I been holding long enough? I guess not, I will keep holding for a little minute, I suppose.

Whether it be with school, work, or relationships, I have been placed on hold. Well I guess school not so much, even though it will take me a few more years to finish, at least I am still going. My goals and plans have not changed, but it seems that I am not moving any closer to them. Life can sometimes do that to you right? So we trudge on, hoping that soon we will be put through and allowed to have what it is we desire.

Monday, June 27, 2005


This weekend I was able to spend some time with a good friend, whom I have been neglecting for a while, not because I don't love her to death, just because things have been different lately. We were able to talk and to share a lot. She is so amazing. I am constantly in awe of how caring and thougthful she is of all her friends and how at times there are those who take advantage of that. Some times it is so nice to just be able to remeber just why that friendship is there in the first place.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Unequal to the Task

It is amazing the ways in which the Lord will get you to turn to him. There was a time, just a few months ago actually, that I was thinking of changing my major to elementary education, with an emphasis in early childhood education, I seriously contemplated this for a few weeks, but I was distinctly told "No, that is not the path for you," so I stuck with business, thinking oh well, not that big of a deal, I am not supposed to teach I guess. But once again I was wrong. I recently have been called to teach in church. This scares the poo out of me. When I wanted to teach I was thinking little kids who are still young and their minds are still moldable, not adult women who know so much more than I do about anything that I am going to try to teach them. I know that if I am willing to ask, the Lord will give me the knowledge that I need to be able to help instruct by the Spirit and to touch at least one person, even if the one person who gains anything from the lesson is me. Still, this is going to make me face one of my fears. I have never felt that I am knowledgable when it comes to the Gospel, so having to teach is going to give me an ulser or two, for a little bit. I will have to turn to the Lord if I ever want to be able to accomplish this new calling.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

So Close, And Yet...

So you know how sometimes you want something so bad, but you don't know how to get it? You can see it, touch it, you are so close to it, and yet you can't have it. You wish so bad that you could just get a taste of it, then you realize that may not be a good idea, because you could just end up wanting it even more, but who knows you may not want it at all after that first little taste, but it is too big of a risk to take. Sometimes we just have to accept that we probably won't get it, and there is a good reason for why we can't have it just yet, or perhaps ever, but sometimes that is just so difficult to grasp. One day maybe you can have it, but for now there is a big no standing between you and that desire and so you move one, and if it is meant for you, maybe there will be another opportunity sometime down the road.