Stumbling Blocks

I am done with these dang stumbling blocks that have been put before me. I know that they are for my good and that they are there for a reason, but I still don't have to like them, right? For instance, once again I have been passed over for a position at work that I know that I am qualified for and could do a spectacular job at if I was given the opportunity. I get so frustrated when after almost 3 years of workign here, they still hire some one else. I just want to scream and say why? Why have you passed on me for the third time for this position? I have stayed and worked here and in the mean time you have had to replace 2 people in that postion that you could have given to me and avoided the whole fiasco. I know that the Lord is mindful of my desires and wants me to be happy, but sometimes I wish that I could see the whole picture so I would understand why this will make me happier in the long run. Or at least know the reason for the stumbling blocks that are thrown in my path.

To follow on a very common theme today...

I am also in agreement of the stupidity of the male sex these days. Although for some reason i have had decent luck in the last week or so, i still wonder, why now? Has no one ever noticed the fact that i am a girl before? I think it is pretty obvious, and unless i have completely disorted view of myself, i think that i am a pretty cute girl, so i don't understand why it is so difficult to ask me out? Anyway, and boys, the whole idea that asking girls out is so hard and that they must be like their friends, and what ever lame excuse there is, get over it! Strong, intelligent, independent women are not horrible! Alot of us also just want to be moms and would give it all up in a heart beat, for the opportunity, if it was the right man.

Haz Mat

6:30 comes terribly early somedays, and yet i still get up and go to work. Today after waking up at 6:30, (had some snowflakes to deliver last night) I seriously consider calling in sick, but I trudge on knowing that I must go to work. As I am sitting at my "computer" at 8, they tell us to get our coats and keys and evacuate the building. By this time I have only been at work for about an hour, and I am thinking man I hope they send us home. So after sitting in the parking lot for 2 hours, they finally decide to let us go home for the rest of the day. Now I am thinking I am very happy that I didn't call in because this way I get the entire day off and don't have to use any of my sick or anual leave hours.

Now my dilema is what should i do today? It is so beautiful outside , that I feel it is a waste to stay inside and do homework or work on my temple dress, but I do have all of this free time on my hands and have to decide on something. I know that I should feel a little guilty for having such a jubilant feeling from having unstable hazardous material at work and knowing that people were in close contact with it and that is why I am home for the day, but I don't.

Burning Eyes

So today as i was driving home form my wonderful job that i love so much my eye just started burning. It felt like it was on fire! I don't know why, but it has been doing this quite often lately and then it jsut waters and waters. Not fun, i hurst real bad when it does it and people probably think i am having an emotional breakdown.

So the reason for this little tale? I am not sure maybe it is that we all must suffer pain in our life and sometimes it is just very sudden and unexpected ad dang does it hurt. Maybe people think that we are crazy, but then there are those who understand, who have been there before and can empathize with us. They share our grief and know that we can make it through. When times are hard and we just want to break down and cry, remember that there is always someone there who is willing to comfort us and lift us up through our troubles.

Games!

Playing games is fun. Is that grammatically correct? It seems odd. Anyway, my friends are great the are always planning way fun things to do. It is a good thing that we have a Weekend Nazi or I am affraid that we would never do anything, cause when I was the temporary Weekend Nazi things jsut went all to crap. It is a good thing that the supreme Nazi is back. Maybe i shouldn't call her a supreme nazi, that just sounds mean. Anyway i am so excited to be playing games tonight. Yahoo for games!

Becoming...

Is there anything that seems more important than knowing who you really are? Who you want to become? This is a journey that I embark on daily. Becoming the person I want to be is turning out to be a much longer and much more involved process than I had ever imagined it could be. In my niavetee, I must have believed that I could just wake up one mornign and everything would be as I had always wanted it, now I know that isn't true.

As I have grown as a person, I have come to realize that there are so many things in my life that I need to be improving. The worries that I have had in the past now all seem to me to be silly and quiet frankly trivial. So many things take presidence over the reasons for the fights I would get in with my sister. To know that I am loved by my family and to have them know that I love them in return is one of the ways that I am working on to become the real me, the ultimate Domestic Goddess.