Goddess On A Mountain Top

scary...

2010-01-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

So today I offically gave my 2 1/2 weeks notice. I am excited but a little scared too.

Anyday now...

2009-05-13T04:59:00.002-07:00

So with just over two weeks to go, i am still feeling pretty good. Just super tired all of the time. I think i could last awhile longer if i wasn't so dang tired. I have a feeling it is going to be friday, sid says no, sunday. Maybe we are both wrong. Who knows. He will show up when he decides he is ready.

2009-04-26T18:36:00.001-07:00

Here you go for all of you who have been wanting a picture. This was at the begining of April.

Prego

2009-04-22T05:04:00.003-07:00

Sorry Sorry Sorry! I know it has been forever since I have blogged. Let's see, not to much to share, just 5 weeks left before the arrival of Baby Bone. The ETA is May 27. I will attempt to update more often then. Or maybe start a new blog...I am not to sure yet. I will keep you all posted.

So....

2008-02-01T15:10:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a long long time since i actually sat donw and wrote something for this blog. I know you were all thinking that the domestic goddess had vacated the blog world, but not so fast. A 4 month hiatus is nothing. It is crazy how time goes so fast, but now i am back, a married woman. That is strange, but it is great. I am so happy. Mr. Domestic Goddess is great. I am so lucky. The ceremony has amazing, and i enjoyed the open houses both here and in the "garden city of the last best place." And wow who knew that you could get so many presents just for getting married. Eventually i will post some pictures.

Well that is all i have for now. I will attempt to blog more regularily form now on, but i make no promises, since we don't have a working computer currently.

Overdue

2007-10-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

So i know that i am overdue for a post. Sorry, things have just been a little bit crazy lately. For those of you who don't know i am getting married on January 17. It is pretty rad. Sid is great. We met at work back in frebruary, and he put up with a whole lot of stuf to get to this point so yeah he is great. Sorry for no picture jodi, they are all on his computer.

tagged

2007-07-23T11:06:00.001-07:00

Rule #1: Remove the blog site at the top of the list below, move all
the blog site names up one, and add yourself to the bottom.

Tristi Pinkston, LDS Author

Lords of the Manor

A Backstage Pass

Whine, Cheese and Chuckles

Goddess On A Mountain Top

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was in high scool, actually it was summer so i was probably working
at the Carmike 10 theater in Missoula. Wahoo.

2. What were you doing 1 year ago?
The same thing i am now doing. Not much has changed in my life in the
past year.

3. Five snacks you enjoy?

1. Ice cream
2. Brownies
3. anything chocolate and peanut butter
4. Carrots
5. Popsicles

4. Five Songs you know all of the lyrics to: (okay this is hard
because i know way too many songs -- let me open up my itunes and pick
some out for you ... please wait)

1. Ice Ice baby- Vanilla Ice ( I know, I know)
2. Baby got Back- Sir-Mix-A-Lot
3. Rodeo- Garth Brooks
4. I Need A Hero- Bonnie Tyler or Frou Frou,(remake is as good as the original!)
5. Fishin in the Dark- Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

5. Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Buy a House
2. Buy a cabin on Flathead Lake
3. Travel loads
4. Finish School
5. Have the most fabulous shoe collection

6. Five bad habits

1. spending too much money
2. not cleaning
3. not eating healthy
4. Coloring my hair too often
5. Being scary and unapproachable

7. Five things you like to do:

1. Watch so you think you can dance and the office
2. travel
3. read
4. cook, i just don't do it enough
5. SLEEP

8. Things that you will never wear again: I am having a hard time with
this one cause i just don't like to place never on anything...

1. fake nails
2. banana clips
3. moon boots
4. leggings
5. braces

9. Five favorite toys:

1. Ipod
2. computer
3. chicago bears helmet
4. smurf from my childhood
5. hula hoop

10. Where will you be in 10 years?

somewhere very different form where i am currently at. I hope to be
married and have a few kids by then.

Five People to Tag:

Mantis

Hollyoak

Silent Thunder

Petereson Family

JRA

Good Morning, Good Morning

2007-07-13T04:36:00.001-07:00

So wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, I, domestic goddess, am
ready for work and it is 5:32 am. that is a whole hour early.
Personally i would still like to be in bed asleep, but duty calls. It
really helps knowing that some one else is coming to get me so i best
be on time or they are going to be late as well, plus i have to make
up time so that none of my vacation time is used because i am to lazy
to wake up in the morning. Well I just thought that i would share
this bit of news with you this jolly morning. Have a grantastic day!

A Change Will Do You Good

2007-06-19T17:41:00.001-07:00

So i have decided that i need to have some changes in my life or i
might just explode. It is up to me to make these changes, and so here
we go. A new Domestic Goddes is just waiting to come out and play, i
just need to let her. Phase one starts today.

Sewing is fun!

2007-05-16T15:09:00.001-07:00

I love to create! I am having a serious itch to make me a fabulous
new dress for this weekend, but i don't think that i have the right
fabric to make it. I need a black cocktail dress, Audrey style. That
would be grand. Hmm i will have to go dig in the massive collection
of fabric i have acquired. And yes i do NEED it. I need something to
match my fabulous shoes.

Flirting 102

2007-05-09T14:36:00.001-07:00

The saga continues, and just to clarify they have not told me to be
some one else, cause i am pretty sure i would have told them to go
straight to hell, just the best way to get them noticing the real you.

The lesson today is A.C.T.

A- Animated. Be animated when you are talking. don't jsut tell a
story, TELL A STORY! (This makes me feel like i might have to be a
bubble head, though i have been assured that i don't.)

C- Closeness. Eliminate any unnecessary distance. (so how much
distance is really necessary? i think that all depends on how atracted
you are to said individual)

T- Touch. Once again touch is vital. (this is touching not groping,
do not caress the pectoral and givee the nipple a little twist. Well
dan'g it all groping is what i am best at. I will just have to try to
contain myself.)

Flirting 101

2007-05-08T16:41:00.001-07:00

First I hate my computer! It is a piece of Crap!

Anyway on with the real post.

For those of you who know me, it will come as no suprise when i say
that i, domestic goddess, cannot flirt. I am just not capable of
doing it. I think that i must have missed that day in school when
they taught all girls how to flirt, of i just got a big fat F in it
because i didn't feel like it applied to me. I have concluded that
the main reason i will not flit is that i find it demeaning. I think
that it will make me look stupid and that is not something that i
enjoy. upon learning this some wonderful women that i work with have
taken it upon themselves to teach me how to flirt. One of them in
particular, has decided tat she will be my personal tutor. I have
even been given homework already, which i am sure to put off until the
very last minute when i can endure the pestering no longer. I have
decided that i need to share these ittle "pearls of wisdom" withthe
rest of the world so that if there happen to be more pathetic souls
like myself out there, this will either make hem laugh or help them
out. So here are the first to days of lessons:

1. Men are like dogs, too much eye contact is seen as an act of
aggresion, Smile and briefly make eye contact, then look away
demurely. Is demurely even a real word? oh well, that is how i choose
to phrase it. deal with it.
(apparently i have been going at this all wrong by treatingmen like
human beings, silly me)

2. Competition between the two of you is a form of research to see how
he will take winning. Let him win the first game, if he is a cocky
jerk about it beat him soundly next time, if he is cute and
apologetic, let him win again, just not by as much this time.
(again, i have been going at this wrong. I am not someone who
likes to get beat. I will try to win, not let him win. I must do
better at this.)

3. Touch him on the elbow. this is the magic spot. (the Elbow?! O.K.
right. got it.)

4. Men like to appear needed. Make sure he knows you are the "weaker"
sex. (hey i need men to kill spiders, change my oil, tires and open
jars. I think that is a sufficient display of weakness thank you very
much!)

So there you have it. My first two days of lessons. WooHoo.

A period of mourning...

2007-05-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

So after my 3 months of mourning i feel that i am now ready to enter back in to the the blogging world. I am so very sorry to all of those who have been missing the wisdom that spews forth from this page. Ha Ha. Now i am back so all of you can rest assured that there will continue to be a bunch of non-vital junk and rambling posted. Yay.

Super Bowl XLI!!!!!

2007-01-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

It is a beautiful thing! My Boys are back to the Super Bowl after a 21 year drought! Super bowl shuffle 2007. Today was a good day. After a slow start, Rex looked confident and poised. The defense remembered that they are the best defense in the league and played like it, holding the number 1 offense to just 14 points, forcing 4 turnovers and just plain dominating the game. Brian Urlacher is the greatest! Any one who thinks he is overrated, how many of you have seen a 255 pound middle line backer with that much speed! He is a beast! The Chicago Bears are #1! I lovey love love them! Go Bears!

AMAZING!!!!!

2006-11-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

I am constantly in a state of amazement at how wonderful my friends are. I am so blessed to have each of you in my life. That thought came to me yesterday as I sat in sacrament and listened to an amazing talk given by one of these friends.

Frenda-You are fabulous! I can always count on you for strength and support when things get hard, or if i just need some one to make me laugh. You always come through and i know that you will always be there.

TK-things have been rocky, but i am glad for what we have, and what we had. I miss you.

Squeej-I am always amazed by you. Just when i think you can't get any better, you do. YOu are wonderful. You are a rock and an a mold for what every man should be. Thank you for being you and showingme what i should want to become.

Squared-I love talking to you. I know that you understand a lot of the things i am going through, and vice versa. Thank you for listening to me complain. I am here for you whenever.

Tiger-I am so greatful for your friendship. Thank you for telling me when i am being dumb or just trying to sabotage myself. You always help me see that i am worth the trouble.

To all those not listed. I am greatfull for all you do for me. THere so many of you that strengthen me every day, in one way or another. I treasure each of you. You have done more for than me then i could ever ask for. I love you all.

Complicated

2006-11-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

Seriously sometimes i feel that my life is this song. why does it have to be this way. I shouldn't have to be, but it is. Now i am just going to feel all strange and not no how to act. Can i just go back to mexico. I forgot about it all there. Sun and sand, that is all i need to forget the silly matters that shouldn't be such a concern.

So Close!

2006-10-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

I wish it were next friday so bad right now! I just want to go. One whole week of nothing to worry about. Seriously can't we just skip next week?

Seven Lovely Songs

2006-10-16T22:08:00.001-07:00

Here you go Holly.

I"ll Follow you Into the dark- Death Cab For Cutie
Red High Heels-Kellie Pickler
Around The Bend-Pearl Jam
Hold On- Sarah McLachlan
Run-Snow Patrol
My Little Girl-Tim McGraw
Never Love You Enough-Chely Wright

I most of these are old songs, but i still love them.

Tag:
Jeje
Silent
Cellular
Mantis
American Hoser

I think I may throw up!

2006-10-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Could the bears make that game anymore difficult for me?! I almost threw up several times, but they pulled it out in the end. Good thing my boyfriend Brian showed up in the second half.

Awkward

2006-09-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I don't think i can even fit into that box again. Strange how one day seems so normal and then the next so out of place, like you don't really fit and that no one notices it except you and you don't know what to do about it to make it different.

Smile!

2006-08-29T16:15:00.000-07:00

I have had a great day. Well actually. it started last night and I just can't seem to stop smiling. Ahhh, sometimes things go great!

Filter? What Filter?

2006-08-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I say things before I really think and it can get me into a lot of trouble. Today was one of those days. It was at this time that it was implied that I am not willing to take risks to try and get what I want.

That is so true.

I have never been one who was willing to open up and take the risk of being hurt or disappointed for everyone to see, so I do nothing. It is not good. I know that there are loads of things that I should just try, even once, but I am too affriad, too proud, to let myself. I find it demeaning to do some things. I hate looking stupid in front of people. For a long time I felt that my intelligence was the only thing I had to offer to people, and even that wasn't enough, so I have a fear of people thinking I am dumb, because it reverts back to me not having anything at all to offer to anyone.

I know that this is a bit crazy, and that I am far beyond where I was at that point of my life, but still, I don't know how to overcome it. I know what I need to do , but I can't. Iknow what I should to say, but I just can't bring myself to do it. .

Wedded Bliss

2006-07-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend the wedding of a dear friend from my high school days. It had been years since I had seen her. It is amazing to me how everything seemed so much the same, and yet we all knew that we had changed so much.

I will never forget the seeing the tears that came from the eyes of the bride and her mother when they saw us come in, the disbelief in who was standing there in front of them, and the joy that we could travel such distances for her. Swan, I know you will probably never read this but, I am so thankful for our friendship, and you looked beautiful, as always.

The Perfect Dress

2006-06-21T16:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Cellular, or at least I am pretty sure it is her, I have my first customer! I am a little nervous though, this girl is willing to pay me a lot of money to make her dress! I hope I don't disappoint.

2006-06-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

Repairs are hard!

Secret Smile? Not so much a secret any more because of...

2006-05-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

Not killing your GPA like you thought you would
Sunny Days
Circus Animal Cookies
Dinner with the HT
Abba and Madonna back to back on jim
Purple Pants
Sleep
My nephew, 8, insisting it is ok to wrestle his 2 year old sister if he "takes it easy on her"
Long talks with grandma
Jim and Pam
Becoming DFD free!
Sequined shoes
My Mom
Friendships with sisters
Late night talks with Mantis, Holly, and Cass
3 1/2" Heels
The feel of grass between my toes
Cellular's Laugh
the Parkway
Searingly handsome
Vacations to look forward to
Summertime
Flowers
Jack Johnson
Knowing of God's love for me
Never really being alone

Procrstination and other dumb things i do

2006-04-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

So i have finals next week. I also have about 4 papers to write, but did i do that today? No. Although, i do have a very good excuse, the monitor on my computer died last night, so i had to find a new one. Luckily i didn't have to buy one, Holly's mom and little bro saved me by having a spare one. Yipee.

I also finally decided it might be a good idea to get my tires rotated (first time in almost 2 years of owning the car). Needless to say i had to buy new tires today. Only two thankfully but honestly, why do i always wait to do things that i know for ages that i need to be doing.

Speeking of that i should probably be planning a Relief Society lesson right about now, since oh i need to teach it tomorrow. Yeah i am a slacker.

You can't go back

2006-04-10T15:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend i went on a short roadtrip to rexburg. It is amazing how much it is the same, and yet so different. Maybe it is exactly the same as it used to be, i have just changed. That is probably it. I was a very different person while i was there, and i am greatful for the things that i learned at Ricks/BYU-I that have helped me to become who i am today, but i wouldn't go back. No thank you.

On another note i am one step closer to getting the business going. Slopers are now in my posession. Yipee. Send out the word. Flarah Bridal is ready for business.

Eye Color

2006-04-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

So this weekend i was told that my eyes are the color of stale sinus infection buggers. Most people just call it green.

You Can't Always Get What You Want...

2006-03-25T14:56:00.000-07:00

Why didn't I see it a year and a half ago? My timing sucks.

Everybody's Changing and I don't feel the same

2006-02-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

This phrase of song speaks volumes. Have you ever noticed that everyone around you is changing and, because of this you don't know where you fit. I have felt this way a lot lately. I don't know why, i just do. Sometimes i think that in the midst of our changing, we forget who we once were and deviate so far from that person, that it is hard to fit in those who knew you before. Why do we do this? Is it to block out those who care about us? Or is this new person who we really are, and before we were hiding it? Or do we deliberately change in order to pull away from those who we don't want to know anymore?

Smile and nodd

2006-02-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

Two things that have received this response this week.

Everyone i work with feeling the need to find me a man and the boy in the car next to me who is obviously checking me out, honestly no need to drive the exact same speed as me the whole time i am on north temple.

Really i am flattered that people think i would have a good time with these people they know, but i am starting to wonder if i have desperate stamped across my forehead. I don't think that i do. Maybe it is because i am 24, single, and LDS, that makes all these women feel that they need to get me married, apparently my ovaries are starting to shrivle. Tw0 years ago i was told i needed to get married becasue Heaven is starting to run out of babies. Oh well i will just have to chance it. Honestly I think that we need to hire another single girl (sans boyfriend) to help balance out this onslaught.

And for you Mr. Blazer, thank you for making my day. I felt that i truely looked like poo yesterday,( greasy hair and my glasses never allow me to feel cute) and that just made me happy, but after a little minute of i started to get a little creeped out. Watch the road, not me thank you. Hitting my car is not going to cause you to win any points. So drive on.

Crossing things off?

2006-02-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

I am about to cross off two of my biggest goals on my list. Find a job i actually enjoy, and find my passion, becasue these two are entwined.

A frined of mine from Ricks, with whom i currently work, and I are going to start a business. We have realized that we hate our jobs and could be doing so much more. Right now we are still in planning mode, but wait a little bit and soon we will be out full force. Unfortunately i will not be leaving my other job for at least a year probably. I need the insurance and the steady income, so stick out sewing hell for one more year, then my retirement will be vested and they can't take it form me, and it will give us time to really get things going.

This is a step i have always wanted to do, and now it is finally being realized. I am so excited and yet still so scared, becasue what if i fail? What if no one likes our designs? What if we can't do it? I know that I have the talents and abilities to do something great, but i am still worried. It is normal to second guess your abilities right?

Our main focus is going to be temple ready wedding gowns and modest formal wear, becasue they are needed and there is a market for them here in Utah. And when we say temple ready we mean ones that will work with every type, not just a specific one as so many of the dresses are designed now.

Well wish me luck. Oh and feel free to throw out some name ideas. We are still working on that.

This year I will...

2006-01-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

get to know mr. gym again
believe in my own talents and abilities
continue to grow
know my limits
not be affraid to let people in, even though it may hurt
find work that i truely enjoy
focus on others more than on myself
stand up for myself
not be manipulated
trust my instincts
study hard
have fun
be myself without regaurd to what others may think of me
live fully
be happy
have no regrets
not buy so many clothes (unless of course getting to know mr gym necessitates)
find my passion
be organized
save money
get centered
get to know myself

Dating Etiquette #1

2006-01-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

If you are going to ask a girl out, HAVE A PLAN! I don't want to have to have a long conversation about what we should do. Have a plan before you call! Honestly, it would be a whole lot easier for both parties.

Back to school, back to school. Prove to dad that i'm not a fool...

2006-01-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

AHH the scholarly escapades have begun again. Another semester, another 4 months of classes. Another 4 months of crazy business. The joys of school. Actually i am not dreading this semseter to much. My classes seem decent, and although one professor seems like a bit of a nut job, i have had the other 2 before and enjoy them. I know people in my classes which is always a bonus and that will help the time pass, and keep the gpa up where it has been, (than you very much mr. banker boy). The one thing that really keeps me going though, is knowing that one day i will finish and no longer have to work in sewing hell!

Happy Days

2006-01-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

Why am i so interested in Ron Howard? Honestly what truely amazing thing has he done? I mean it is Oppie. Honestly what is so appealing about Oppie? Just a red headed little kid who is kind of goofy. That is it. Some how i have become interested in his work. I don't get it. Can some one explain what is so fascinating about Oppie please. I just don't understand the sudden draw to him I am sure it will fade soon. There are only so many times you cna watch happy days and american graffiti before you are just bored with it all. Maybe if he did someting new that would be good. Give the incentive to remain in the fan club, cause right now i am thinking of rescinding my membership.

Dean's List?

2006-01-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

How is it possible that i have made the dean's list the last three semesters? It should pretty much just be impossible, and at any other college it would be, cause i am about the biggest slacker on the planet. You should not get A's in classes when you are making up your speech as you give it, honestly. I swear i am in a glorified high school, no actually i think that my high school may have bee harder than this is. yahoo for the dean's list, and yahoo for LDSBH.

D-D-DEFENSE

2006-01-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

I am back on defense again. I have to gaurd what i have gotten this far. Why? I don't know. And who am i gaurding? I don't really care to share that, but it is hard and will take a lot of work. I will not let my defences down this time. I am ready. I know where the assault is likely to come from and what needs to be done to stop it. I have played this game before and know all the tricks. I will stand my ground. I will be the champion of this battle. Watch out cause my game is on and i am not willing to let you get through this time. You will not score on 4th down, you will not even be in feild goal range. My line can hold and my offense is strong. Sorry. Deal with it. That is how it is, it wasn't my decision, it was yours.

Favorite things...

2005-12-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry Holly but i had to. Today a friend asked me what was my favorite thing about Christmas. I said spending time with my family, but really it is spending time with these two little ones. Children are so much fun! They have so much energy and when they aren't yours, you can spoil them, then give them back to mom and not have to worry about it. Plus my little niece is just the cutest thing in the world! I got to go bowling with them, and play games, (i killed my entire family at harry potter scene it) watching them open prestents and pull things out of their stockings, these are a few of my favorite things.

29 HOURS!!!!!

2005-12-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

29 hours and then i will be home! Yipee! I am quite excited about that. I will get to spend a glorious 6 days withthe family and then come back here. I am most excited because tomorrow is my nephew's 8th birthday. This is very exciting. We are hoping that he will be able to be baptized this week while we are all home. Unluckily for me though my mother forgot to inform me that I get to give a little talk on the Holy Ghost. Thankfully i have an older sister who tells me the stuff that my mother thinks she has already told me so i am not completely in the dark.

OOH and another happy thought is that i don't have to be to work until 8 tomorrow morning. 2 hours more sleep for me cause i decided to make up 2 hours over the last 2 days. AHH i love to sleep!

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

2005-12-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

This quote comes from Ghandi. He was really on to something. If we want the world to be a better place, don't we inturn have to become better people.

I have been thinking a lot latley. There are so many things in this world that break my heart and i have often thought, what difference can i make. I am just one little person. No one will care what i am trying to do. But herein lies the problem. If we don't think that our actions will matter and that no one cares what one little person is doing, then we are all doomed. It take just one person to set an example for others and, sometimes just one bad experience to make some one turn from the truth. So today let's all try to "be the change [we] want to see in the world" in our own little sphere's and who knows maybe one day it will happen on a much larger scale.

Home for the Holiday's...Not Quite

2005-11-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

As we all gather together this year to celebrate thanksgiving with our families, i will be having a new experience. Fot the first time in my 24 years i will not be able to spend this holiday with my family. I am going to be sharing it with Ella's (a woman from work) family. I really didn't expect it to be so hard when i decided that i couldn't go home a month ago, but this week has proven to be more difficult than i had ever planned. I am not one to get homesick, at least not in the last 12 years, but as i sat in institute on tuesday night, and listend to our teacher talk of God's Country (Glacier National Park) and flathead lake and the loons and the beauty that is western montana i wanted to cry and leave right then for the big sky. I miss my home and my family but i wasn't expecting this type of reaction. I am a big girl. I haven't lived in missoula for 6 years. I manage to be fine on easter and the fourth of july. Why is thanksgiving any different? It shouldn't be. It is just a day. Another day that people spend with their families, but people always are spending time with their families on other random days throughout the year, so why does this day bother me so much? Well I am trying not to let it. I will put on my big girl panties and smile and go have a meal with a family i have never met and hope that i am not infinging on their time.

So this year i have realized how incredibly grateful for my family i really am. Family is so important to me. Last night i was pained by a friend that said he wasn't looking forward to spending the day with his family. I just wanted to hit him. He is spending the day with those who love him and will always be there for him. How is this bad? I don't mean to make this into a sob story, but honestly, i was so confused at how he could say that. I know that i have my friends here and that they all love me and for that I am so thankful and love them all dearly, but it is just not the same. Don't feel sorry for me. I am looking forward to spending the day with Ella and family. She says i need to meet her son. That could be fun. She is a great woman and is very caring and I am so appreciative of the invite.

To all of you Happy Thanksgiving. Rejoice in the many blessings that you have been given this day as you spend it with those you care for, who ever they may be.

Hey Foxymophandelmama. that's me

2005-11-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

"First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman. I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him. Because of this divine heritage you, along with all of your spiritual sisters and brothers, have full equality in His sight and are empowered through obedience to become a rightful heir in His eternal kingdom, an "[heir] of God, and joint-[heir] with Christ." Seek to comprehend the significance of these doctrines. Everything Christ taught He taught to women as well as men. Indeed, in the restored light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, a woman, including a young woman, occupies a majesty all her own in the divine design of the Creator. You are, as Elder James E. Talmage once phrased it, "a sanctified investiture which none shall dare profane."
-Elder Jeffrey R Holland

I have decided to believe that i am absolutely fabulous. People see us as what we want them to see us as, so if we think that we are intimidating, then they think that as well, if we think that we are un approachable, then we probably are. I have decided that i truly am a goddess and why should i hide it? I am smart, funny, and dang hot, so why should I not think that I am a true goddess?

Sorry if this seems a little off, but tonight i was reminded of the divinity of womanhood as i read Elder Holland's talk from general conference and was reminded again that I am a daughter of God and i am loved for who i am and who i will become and I was profoundly impacted by it.

This talk also reminded me of a talk given in our sacrament meeting a few months ago, about being divinely feminine, and respecting the divinley feminine. There are so many in this world, male and female, who do not respect this femininity as they should. I feel that all women should be treated the same, with respect and gentleness, not just those who seem to need it. Even the strong and independent woman wants to be treated with gentleness and dignity. In fact, we may need it more, because soemthing needs to keep us from getting too hardened

So to all of you out there chivalry isn't dead, please treat us with respect and realize that a true gentleman treats all women the same, from your mother, to your girlfriend, to the little girl down the street and the random lady next to you on the bus.

Somewhere In Between

2005-11-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

So I thought that i should post cause it has been many moon's (well actually not even a full moon), since my last post. But as i sat here trying to think of something to write, i really have nothing. I mean there i a lot i could say, but where would it get me? Not any place new. Just to places i have been in the past and that i don't feel like returning to right now. I could complain about my crazy schedual right now, about the horrible rush of fast approaching deadlines, finals in one month, and trauma's in my personal life, but i just don't want to. SO... i hope you are all fabulous, I am working on it. Have a lovely day.

I have been physically abused in the ear. I'm Deef!

2005-10-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

So today I think that I may have fallen asleep during my mandatory hearing test. Luckily it wasn't for long and I still managed to pass the test in the normal range although there is one tone that was much higher than the others. Oh well.

On a similar topic, how often do we often listen to each other. I mean really listen and hear what isn't being said behind what is. I know that I am horrible at that. There are many times where I have failed to be receptive to the things I am being told. I think that I find it easier to ignore the nonverbal clues and feign ignorance than to actually have to admit I have noticed the deeper meaning, or that I have known all along what is going on. I am very selfish in this aspect. I expect people to notice all that I am saying, and yet don't find myself doing the same. I realized this today. It was brought to my attetion while recalling a conversation that I had recently with a friend. I wanted everything that I was trying to convey to be noticed and yet I am not sure that I was willing to listen to everything he was saying. Emotions are funny that way. I did listen, and I think that I got the point, but it makes me wonder how often I have missed out on the important things that are not being said because of my own selfish desires to not have to be troubled by other people's opinions. That is horrible.

You're Replaceable?

2005-10-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

We all have insecurities that have been rooted in to our personalities, and some times they are a detriment to our social well being. I have plenty of my own, and i am trying to work them out. Where these insecurities come from is any one's guess. Maybe they come from our parents, maybe they come from barbie, maybe they come from being burned one to many times, maybe they come from the adversary. The source differs for each of us, but we mus realize that it is just that. An insecurity that is probably not based in any logic. Life can be crappy at times and we can either deal with it and choose to be happy, or deal with it and make a complete ass out of ourselves in the process.

Question!

2005-10-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting in my institute class last night, I realized I just recieved my answer. I have had several questions lately that I have wanted answered, and all of them, except one, had been answered, and then last night, as we were listening to a lecture on Doctrine & Covenants 25, the answer came to me. It amazes me that I can recieve answers. I am suprised every time that they come, and yet, I know that they shouldn't, that I should know that they are coming, but still, to told so plainly...Maybe I should ask more questions, but I am affraid that I will be pestering. I should be content with the answers that have been given to me, but I want more. I have been told amazing things, and still I want to be told more. Is that wrong? I don't think so. It is only natural to seek guidance when we are concerned, confused, or hurting. But what about when we are happy, content, and growing? Is it wrong to want more when things are going so well? When I have been given so much already?

Help Wanted

2005-10-03T14:46:00.000-07:00

Now accepting applications for a skilled laborer. Part-flex time position, with potential to go full time in the future. High yeilding, low turnover, great benefits. Will not work around other jobs, but flexible with schooling.

I'm a happy girl

2005-09-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

I was just realizing how happy i really am. I have a great life. My friends are fabulous, i am happy with the direction i am headed. I know that there are loads of things that i still need to work on, but overall, i am happy. Life is good. I know that i am an amazing person and that i have some great things in store for me. Ahh, life is good.

I'm moving on

2005-09-21T15:34:00.000-07:00

There are times in our lives when we have to decided what is really going to be best for us. The right path, the left path, the middle path, or why even bother making the decision I will sit here forever and not go anywhere. I am at this point right now.

For too long I have been sitting and waiting for things to happen to me. I don't want to make a choice because it is scary and things will have to change once I have chosen my new path. Life will take us where we let it, and right now I think I am letting it take me no where, so I am moving on.

I have let thing fester for to long, allowed them to make me bitter and hard. To put me in a horrible mood when I could just have easily been happy. For that I am sorry to all of you who have had to suffer through this with me, but just so you know, I am breaking free of the chains that have been holding me to this spot for so long. I am moving on.

It is scary to think that things are changing and, yet exciting at the same time. I know that I may be falling for a little bit, but there will always be someone there to lift me back up and to help me when I need it.

I have to change myself in order for this all to work properly, and I am sorry if this places us in different areanas. I hope that I distance no one, but I worry it may happen. For my own sanity and peace of mind, I may have to leave you. I don't want to, but it needs to happen. I am moving on.

Shark Bait

2005-09-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

After the most fabulous vacation ever it is terribly hard to go back to work. I should have just stayed in Mexico. I have my "shark bite" to deal with. That shark has really sharp teeth and now i am being referred to a hand surgeon, because i have done so much dammage to it that my doctors thinks it may need surgery. Fabulous. I really just want to go home and take my Lorrie Taylors and sleep, but no, i have to endure another hour and a half of class, and only on ibuprophen that doesn't really help the pain for long. On the plus side, i can't sew right now, so i don't have to learn to make the horrible men's one peices. happy day. Oh and typing, not so easy with giant finger brace, it gets in the way, and it hurts if i forget and try to use it.

Vocab Lesson

2005-08-31T15:53:00.000-07:00

Ceteris Paribus: the assumption of nothing else changing. This phrase has been very prevalent in my Microeconomics text. I think that i need to learn to use this in my life. I need to stop assuming that it will change. Assuming that this will stop, is a little asinine, because it has come to my attention that it will not.

It is obvious that there are somethings that just cannot be changed. We cannot change some one else's behavior. We cannot change the rain to sun. All that we can do is to ride out the storm and hope for the best in the end. It will be over soon. Things will be different when the cloud moves on.

2005-08-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

Can i just say that i hate having a class during the day. Why is it that there are so many boys concerned with being pretty? Why do girls think it is good to be taupe? I really don't get any of this at all. At least i find comfort in knowing that at least in one of my classes there is banker boy. He was in several classes with me last semseter and is at least an intelligent person. this makes classes much more bearable right?

All i have to say is girls use your brains! It is ok to to be intelligent and want to accomplish things in your life, even if your ultimate goal is to get married, that is mine, yet i am not just sitting around pretending to be stupid, waiting for the first boy to come along. And boys, honestly, it is sad when you are prettier than most of the girls on campus. Be men, not wussy whiny little metro's.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

2005-08-22T16:23:00.000-07:00

Hypocrite: somebody who gives a false appearance of having admirable principles, beliefs, or feelings

Don't you hate hypocrisy? I know that I do.

Mortar and Brick

2005-08-03T14:41:00.000-07:00

So, I build walls. Nice tall ones that very few people can get over. I keep invaders away with these walls. Very few people have really been able to penetrate my walls. On the rare occurance I let some one over the walls, and into my world, I offer more trust than you may realize. When trust is broken I have a handy dandy catapult that will shoot very far, and i immediatly start to build that wall a little higher, and remind myself not to be so foolish in letting people in. When i see some one approaching the top of my wall I go into defense mode and start to through everything i can at them, inorder to drive them away, they cannot be so close. I like my walls. They keep me gaurded and safe, within these walls i can not be hurt, or so i thought. I have realized that these walls are not that good at keeping me from being hurt. I think that they my actually be aiding in some of the hurt. If i continue building these walls the only one i will be hurting is me.

I realized this yesterday while sitting in the temple. I was just sitting and thinking i don't want to go. Here i am safe. There is nothing that can hurt me if i just never leave. I can curl up on this couch and sleep and never have to deal with any of the pain anymore. Then i realized that i would still be hurting. I would be stopping myself from progressing and would be dening myself all of the blessings God is waiting to give me. I can no longer hide from the world behind my walls. They are stopping me, not helping me, because, sure, no one can get in, but it is awfully hard for me to get out as well. So i am going to start taking down these walls, it may take a while they are very tall, and very strong. But brick by brick i am going to remove them. Be patient with me.

Have you ever

2005-08-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

had one of those days when you know that everything is going to be ok, and even though nothing has been resolved anywhere, you are ok with it and know that you are just fine.? In fact so fine that you just start crying for no reason at all, sure most people would think that when you are crying there is obviously something wrong, but nope, all is well.

Can I Have that Back!

2005-07-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted to undo something so badly because you know that it is just going to be misinterpreted and misunderstood, because of the time in which it was recieved. Not knowing what the outcome may be is scary, but oh well, move on. It probably needs to be out in the open anyway, and now it is, however innocent and unrelated the message was to something else going on at the time, but taken in the context of that time frame makes complete sense and explains a lot, but it wasn't meant to happen at that time becasue one didn't realize what was going on when the message was given. Now it shed a whole new light on what is really going on internally, and that, my friends, is so scary, things will definintly change and there is no stopping it becasue it needs to happen, and loud as the wish of containment screams "Get that back. Make it as though it never happened!" you can't. What is done is done.

I love...

2005-07-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

1. Seeing the sunrise (odd since I am not a mornign person)
2. Being on time for work so I leave on time and not have to feel like I am detention and everyone else is going to go have fun.(it is a rare occurance)
3. Pink, but pretty much everone knows that by now.
4. My new canopy
5. That my adorable niece named her new kitten "Puppy"(she not even 2 so it is ok)
6. Hot weather
7. The smell of hot tar on a road in the summer
8. Flip-flops
9. The Gospel
10. My family
11. Shoes
12. My chipmunk laugh that only comes out when I am silly tired.
13. That in one week I will be driving to Montana, probably in about Idaho Falls at this time.
14. Painting houses
15. laying in the sunshine
16. Rivers(floating down them in tubes)
17. The Temple
18. My good friends
19. Flowers(really what girl doesn't)
20. Getting lost in a book.
21. Sunsets
22. Thunder storms
23. Mountains covered with pine trees
24. The Bears
25. Football, in general
26. Cherry Popsicles

Take A Chance On Me. On Second Thought...

2005-07-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

So last night the immortal words of ABBA struck me, not in the usual context one thinks of when hearing this song, ok well at first that is where my thoughts lay, but then a rather different twist on this phrase crossed my mind, and I began to think. As I lay in bed, knowing there was no way i could even get 5 hours of sleep, I realized this life is full of chances. It is a chance for us to learn and to grow, and a chance to be happy.

So while these thoughts were filtering through my head, I decided that if I truley want to be happy, some chances are not going to be relived. When these have come and stabbed you in the back, and time and again continued to push the knife in jsut a little bit deeper, you have to say enough is enough. Things happen and chances can't be taken back once given, but they also don't have to be continuously given when the result has always been the same. Forgive, and move on is my ne motto, but I add to that, I will deffinently be more careful about those I allow to take a chance on me.

My Favorite Jeans

2005-07-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been trying to remove a lot of junk and other useless and/or needless items from my possession. It is a tedious and long process, because as you may know I have a lot of stuff, and trying to decide what I want to keep, what I need to keep, and what I really should let go, if only for my own sanity, it is also dang hard to let go of the things that seem so great at the time. Things like that favorite pair of jeans that I will always want to keep, or that great sweatshirt, that makes me so comfortable and I just can't bear to part with it, even though I have lots of newer sweatshirts and jeans that may be in better shape or look better, but I just don't want to give them up yet. I hate shopping for jeans. I know that if I would be willing to let them go it could make more space, and maybe I could find someting similar, just as comfortable, or maybe even more comfortable, but it is scary to give up what I know is comfortable cause what if I can't find something that fits the same. I have often found a pair that I thought would be comfortable, and they turn out to be too tight, or too short, or too long, or too loose. Sure it isn't like I wear the same jeans and sweatshirt all the time, but when ever they calls to me I am willing to put them back on and I remember just why I am so comfortable in them. They know where they need to give a little more room and when I need them to just stay how they are. I continue to try and mend them and make them as good as new, but it seems like when ever I get back to them, they need more repairs to their tattered seams. They should probably just be set free, but I come back to that old problem of liking them no matter how beat up and torn they are.

Dirty Laundry

2005-07-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that I have come to the realization that I hate laundry day. I never hated it before, but today i relized that i will not be able to make it another 3 weeks before doing laundry, when i will be at home in montana and it will be free, cause I only have a bout 3 days worth of undies. Not good. I am going to have to walk myself across the parking lot and pay to wash my clothing for the first time in about 3 years. This is no fun. I almost long for the days when i was in Rexburg and home was just a quick four hour drive, so i could go home every couple weeks and do laundry for free if I felt so inclined. But alas it is now 7 hours and that is just not worth it. So I will have to cart my laundry basket downstairs and to the laundromat soon and endure the boring hours tht will be consumed by this tedious, yet needed, time waste. At least they have free drying... maybe i will do it tomorrow and try to give my self skin cancer between cycles. That sounds lovely.

Hold please...

2005-06-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

So I have been put on hold. There are some great opportunities that soon will be available in my life, but for the moment they have been put on hold for and unspecified amount of time. All I know is they will come to fruition soon. I am hoping one thing I am holding for isn't soon in the Lord's time cause that could be ten years for all I know, and I really don't want to be sewing underwear for the next 10 years. This is frustrating. I know that things will all work out how they are supposed to, but honestly haven't I been holding long enough? I guess not, I will keep holding for a little minute, I suppose.

Whether it be with school, work, or relationships, I have been placed on hold. Well I guess school not so much, even though it will take me a few more years to finish, at least I am still going. My goals and plans have not changed, but it seems that I am not moving any closer to them. Life can sometimes do that to you right? So we trudge on, hoping that soon we will be put through and allowed to have what it is we desire.

Chats

2005-06-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was able to spend some time with a good friend, whom I have been neglecting for a while, not because I don't love her to death, just because things have been different lately. We were able to talk and to share a lot. She is so amazing. I am constantly in awe of how caring and thougthful she is of all her friends and how at times there are those who take advantage of that. Some times it is so nice to just be able to remeber just why that friendship is there in the first place.

Unequal to the Task

2005-06-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

It is amazing the ways in which the Lord will get you to turn to him. There was a time, just a few months ago actually, that I was thinking of changing my major to elementary education, with an emphasis in early childhood education, I seriously contemplated this for a few weeks, but I was distinctly told "No, that is not the path for you," so I stuck with business, thinking oh well, not that big of a deal, I am not supposed to teach I guess. But once again I was wrong. I recently have been called to teach in church. This scares the poo out of me. When I wanted to teach I was thinking little kids who are still young and their minds are still moldable, not adult women who know so much more than I do about anything that I am going to try to teach them. I know that if I am willing to ask, the Lord will give me the knowledge that I need to be able to help instruct by the Spirit and to touch at least one person, even if the one person who gains anything from the lesson is me. Still, this is going to make me face one of my fears. I have never felt that I am knowledgable when it comes to the Gospel, so having to teach is going to give me an ulser or two, for a little bit. I will have to turn to the Lord if I ever want to be able to accomplish this new calling.

So Close, And Yet...

2005-06-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

So you know how sometimes you want something so bad, but you don't know how to get it? You can see it, touch it, you are so close to it, and yet you can't have it. You wish so bad that you could just get a taste of it, then you realize that may not be a good idea, because you could just end up wanting it even more, but who knows you may not want it at all after that first little taste, but it is too big of a risk to take. Sometimes we just have to accept that we probably won't get it, and there is a good reason for why we can't have it just yet, or perhaps ever, but sometimes that is just so difficult to grasp. One day maybe you can have it, but for now there is a big no standing between you and that desire and so you move one, and if it is meant for you, maybe there will be another opportunity sometime down the road.

What A Girl Wants...

2005-05-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

So does a girl, namely me, really know what She wants? I propose the answer of hell no! Lets take me for an example.

I meet boy. I think I would like to get to know boy, boy seems very nice. Boy cooks me dinner on Sunday. Then boy asks me out for Wednesday. Jeje and I carpool with boy to FHE. JRA points out "he is digging your show." Wednseday comes, once again boy cooks me dinner, boy opens my car doors, boy is a perfect gentleman, boy treats me like a princess, boy is very nice...but herein lies the problem. Boy is too nice. I see no spark of wickedness in boy at all. I need that spark. I need a boy to banter with, to take my sarcasm and not turn it into sugary sweet grossnesss, that makes me want to vomit.

So what is wrong with me? I get what I think I want and then realize that oh nope not so much. I always have said I need some one who will treat me like a princess, but when I actually find someone like that, hmm, not so much. Boy is super nice, but that is just it. That is all boy will be. Boy must be moved into friend zone. That is all there is to it.

See girls really don't know what they want, or at least in my case that is true. It't not that I want a boy who will be a jerk and treat me like crap, oh no, not at all, I do want a boy who will treat me well, but one who will also stand up to my sarcasm and through some right back at my face.

Retreat

2005-05-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

I love the Gospel! It is amazing how much I feel my testimony grow at each of these events. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is an amazing gift that I have been given. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and restored the church to the earth today. It is amazing to feel the gift of the Holy Ghost in my life. I love that i am able to feel the spirit when true principles are being taught, weather it be form our Bishop or just from an ordianary 20 something in the ward. Truth is universal and is so vital to our exsitance. I love the gospel! I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! I know that it is the true chruch and that God will work mighty miracles through his faithful saints. Just look at silent thunder's bog, if you have any question about the power the gospel has in the lives of every one around the world.

Humanity

2005-05-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families by Philip Gourevitch tells the story of Rwanda’s genocide in 1994 and the efforts to rebuild. As I read this book I was struck with awe at how in the world in which we live, this was allowed to happen. Prior to reading this book I went to see the movie Hotel Rwanda and knew of the tragedy and how it was allowed to happen by the entire western world. I was amazed at how this happened in my life time and yet I really knew nothing of it until this year. How does one live in a world where this can happen and not know anything about it? I also realized that while this only happened eleven years ago, that I was only thirteen and was probably too interested in the things of a young teen girl, such as boys and friends.

Upon realizing this I have felt slightly less guilty for my lack of knowledge on such a major event in our history, and yet I can’t help but think that it is this kind of justification that made the entire world turn their collective heads as nearly a million innocent people were murdered, when Rwandan’s turned on their neighbors, literally the people who they had grown up with and lived with their entire lives. Is it really ok to say “Oh that is not my problem,” or “I was only a child, it isn’t my fault I didn’t know any better?” Is our human existence so detached from one another that we will not aid those who are truly in need, when we see no immanent threat to ourselves? What does it mean to share the planet with others? Are we going to claim as Cain did, “I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?” Or will we rise with humanity and grasp to aid and lift one another from despair and sorrow in whatever capacity we can?

While reading I wondered what does it mean to be humane? There is more to humanity that simply not committing atrocities upon our brethren. We should be doing all that we can in order to stop other when they are committing them as well. It is certainly not humane for us to sit back and observe the gross violations of human rights that happen almost daily and say, “There is nothing that I can do. They are half a world away.” It is true there is so little that we can do as individuals from with in our limited view and sphere, but one person can be the factor of change in a world. One person can influence many to do that which is good, or that which is evil, as manifested in Rwanda. As we live our lives we should be looking for ways that we can serve others to better their lives and to bring peace and happiness to them in their bleakest hours.

How does you rebuild after such horrible crimes against humanity have been committed against you? How do you go on knowing that tomorrow could be that day that it is your turn to be killed? How do you rebuild your life after it has been shattered and your family has been slaughtered? There are many people dealing with these questions today. It takes a long time for the healing to take place, if it ever will, and I don’t see how anyone could ever forget the pains that they suffered. In his book, Philip Gourevitch asks himself the question “Is there any hope for this place?” he answers it with a quote that was given to him by Paul Rusesabagina, a survivor of the genocide, “With my countrymen-Rwandans-you never know what they will become tomorrow.”

I don’t know the answer to this question of humanity. All that I do know is that I hope that through out my life I am an able to make a change for the better, even if it is just in one person’s life, and to help them realize that they are loved by God, even when they feel totally alone and forgotten. Perhaps this is the answer to the question; knowing that we are all beloved children of God, and that he desires for us all to be happy, maybe this is how we can solve the hatred and cruelty that is so prevalent in the world today. If we can take the time to realize that we each have the right to live and to experience all the good that life has to offer, maybe then we could live together in a state of Utopia.

Stumbling Blocks

2005-03-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

I am done with these dang stumbling blocks that have been put before me. I know that they are for my good and that they are there for a reason, but I still don't have to like them, right? For instance, once again I have been passed over for a position at work that I know that I am qualified for and could do a spectacular job at if I was given the opportunity. I get so frustrated when after almost 3 years of workign here, they still hire some one else. I just want to scream and say why? Why have you passed on me for the third time for this position? I have stayed and worked here and in the mean time you have had to replace 2 people in that postion that you could have given to me and avoided the whole fiasco. I know that the Lord is mindful of my desires and wants me to be happy, but sometimes I wish that I could see the whole picture so I would understand why this will make me happier in the long run. Or at least know the reason for the stumbling blocks that are thrown in my path.

To follow on a very common theme today...

2005-02-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

I am also in agreement of the stupidity of the male sex these days. Although for some reason i have had decent luck in the last week or so, i still wonder, why now? Has no one ever noticed the fact that i am a girl before? I think it is pretty obvious, and unless i have completely disorted view of myself, i think that i am a pretty cute girl, so i don't understand why it is so difficult to ask me out? Anyway, and boys, the whole idea that asking girls out is so hard and that they must be like their friends, and what ever lame excuse there is, get over it! Strong, intelligent, independent women are not horrible! Alot of us also just want to be moms and would give it all up in a heart beat, for the opportunity, if it was the right man.

Haz Mat

2005-02-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

6:30 comes terribly early somedays, and yet i still get up and go to work. Today after waking up at 6:30, (had some snowflakes to deliver last night) I seriously consider calling in sick, but I trudge on knowing that I must go to work. As I am sitting at my "computer" at 8, they tell us to get our coats and keys and evacuate the building. By this time I have only been at work for about an hour, and I am thinking man I hope they send us home. So after sitting in the parking lot for 2 hours, they finally decide to let us go home for the rest of the day. Now I am thinking I am very happy that I didn't call in because this way I get the entire day off and don't have to use any of my sick or anual leave hours.

Now my dilema is what should i do today? It is so beautiful outside , that I feel it is a waste to stay inside and do homework or work on my temple dress, but I do have all of this free time on my hands and have to decide on something. I know that I should feel a little guilty for having such a jubilant feeling from having unstable hazardous material at work and knowing that people were in close contact with it and that is why I am home for the day, but I don't.

Burning Eyes

2005-02-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

So today as i was driving home form my wonderful job that i love so much my eye just started burning. It felt like it was on fire! I don't know why, but it has been doing this quite often lately and then it jsut waters and waters. Not fun, i hurst real bad when it does it and people probably think i am having an emotional breakdown.

So the reason for this little tale? I am not sure maybe it is that we all must suffer pain in our life and sometimes it is just very sudden and unexpected ad dang does it hurt. Maybe people think that we are crazy, but then there are those who understand, who have been there before and can empathize with us. They share our grief and know that we can make it through. When times are hard and we just want to break down and cry, remember that there is always someone there who is willing to comfort us and lift us up through our troubles.

Games!

2005-01-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

Playing games is fun. Is that grammatically correct? It seems odd. Anyway, my friends are great the are always planning way fun things to do. It is a good thing that we have a Weekend Nazi or I am affraid that we would never do anything, cause when I was the temporary Weekend Nazi things jsut went all to crap. It is a good thing that the supreme Nazi is back. Maybe i shouldn't call her a supreme nazi, that just sounds mean. Anyway i am so excited to be playing games tonight. Yahoo for games!

Becoming...

2005-01-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

Is there anything that seems more important than knowing who you really are? Who you want to become? This is a journey that I embark on daily. Becoming the person I want to be is turning out to be a much longer and much more involved process than I had ever imagined it could be. In my niavetee, I must have believed that I could just wake up one mornign and everything would be as I had always wanted it, now I know that isn't true.

As I have grown as a person, I have come to realize that there are so many things in my life that I need to be improving. The worries that I have had in the past now all seem to me to be silly and quiet frankly trivial. So many things take presidence over the reasons for the fights I would get in with my sister. To know that I am loved by my family and to have them know that I love them in return is one of the ways that I am working on to become the real me, the ultimate Domestic Goddess.