Tuesday, August 29, 2006


I have had a great day. Well actually. it started last night and I just can't seem to stop smiling. Ahhh, sometimes things go great!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Filter? What Filter?

Sometimes I say things before I really think and it can get me into a lot of trouble. Today was one of those days. It was at this time that it was implied that I am not willing to take risks to try and get what I want.

That is so true.

I have never been one who was willing to open up and take the risk of being hurt or disappointed for everyone to see, so I do nothing. It is not good. I know that there are loads of things that I should just try, even once, but I am too affriad, too proud, to let myself. I find it demeaning to do some things. I hate looking stupid in front of people. For a long time I felt that my intelligence was the only thing I had to offer to people, and even that wasn't enough, so I have a fear of people thinking I am dumb, because it reverts back to me not having anything at all to offer to anyone.

I know that this is a bit crazy, and that I am far beyond where I was at that point of my life, but still, I don't know how to overcome it. I know what I need to do , but I can't. Iknow what I should to say, but I just can't bring myself to do it. .